It looks like a toy, my flatpack of war;

I picked it up at the D-I-Y store,

But don’t be deceived and be in no doubt,

This purchase will lead to a proper rout.

It shoots from the front, it shoots from the back,

It turns our defences into attack.

It costs next to nothing this side of town;

Once it’s assembled, the bombs will rain down.

Pitilessly, no prisoners taken,

Cities at nighttime it will awaken,

And with small adjustments it can manage

Mass carnage and collateral damage.

I put it together, easy as pie,

And now all my foes are going to die.