Solemn Suffering
To the depths of despair I shall descend
As this pain I feel sees no end
The pain you have made me feel
Runs so deep it makes me ill
I doubt that I’ll ever heal
From the words and images that you’ve laid
Far too deep in my brain
I cannot sleep I cannot eat
I’m at my ends, my last defeat
Oh how I wished we’d never meet
For then I’d never know about your wrongs
And how long you’ve led me on
And how deeply you’ve let me down
If pain is your game you’ve truly won
This hurt I feel is taking control
I can no longer find my resolve
I am scared I will be sad forever
As this pain taunts me and is beyond measure
Why am I hurting and you are fine
When all the wrongs are not mine
Why is this life so unfair?
That you’re in the wrong yet I am in despair
To cry for you I know is wrong
As all your actions cannot be undone
And for years you’ve strung me along
Oh how I wish I knew
That all of your words were never true
That all of our love was a lie
Which would lead to our last goodbye
How twisted is it to crave the one
That’s hurt you so by what he’s done
Yet you know that only he
Can heal your heart if he’d be
The one he pretended he was all along
And take back all that he has done
As sick as it is I wish it were true
Soul sympathies from a sad girl who is so blue
But life is never fair
And I am in so much despair
As I loved someone who was not mine
I thought our soul contracts were entwined
I am scared I’ll be sad forever
For this pain is past measure
And our fake love I still treasure
How I wish I was he
To forget all and let it be
As if it were never so
Then I wouldn’t be filled with so much woe
And forced to intoxicate thy self
As a way of handling this pain I’ve been dealt
Because of all the mixed emotions I have felt
I wish it were not true
I wish it were though I never knew
Maybe my heart would feel at ease
And I could let him go as he’d please
But why am I the one to suffer
I have been through times which have been rougher
Which in turn were meant to make me tougher
He’s taken a piece of me I can’t place
And now my soul feels laid out to waste
In the rain where I cannot run
From everything that he has done
And I am forced to feel
All of this pain which can’t be real
How much suffering can one soul take?
How could I not see that his love was fake?
And the fool of me that he would make
Of me by loving still
And to defend him I always will
Though he will only use and abuse
As his actions will never be true
This I know in my soul
It stirs a feeling which is cold
And makes me feel like my soul has been sold
How pathetic can one be?
To still love this man once she sees
All he has done behind her back
Indeed yes, I must be mad
However I think I must be strong
To love a man through all his wrongs
In hope he may one day see
How much he has deeply hurt me
But depth is not his skill
And to hope is a foolish will
To see the mistakes he has made
So in suffering I’ll surely stay.