The good folk of the North-East UK

will surely be delighted to learn today

that thirty-four per cent of their children,

the victims of that corrupt brethren,

are living in poverty because Stockton’s “a shithole”,

in a country ruined by complete arseholes;

their mission’s complete, they’re finally there,

with their wealth and their health, saying “sod your nightmare”,

it’s taken them thirteen years and six months,

of lie upon lie, and great cunning stunts;

Victoria, yes, you were right about Hunt,

it’s spelled with a C, which to be blunt,

describes to a T the rest of that scum;

that cesspit in a moral slum.