It’s one of my proud boasts that I have never had a Big Mac, never seen an episode of I’m (No Longer) a Celebrity…, or that I’ve ever been into gaming.  (The last’s not strictly true as I have played Space Invaders at Corrigan’s Amusements in Filey during the 80’s.)

But an experience in Curry’s recently showed me what I’d been missing.

I was in need of a bit of R&R while Our Gert bought still more tat in Primark next door.  The only chairs made available for tired pensioners were the “gaming” chairs set in front of huge TV screens.

Well, what an education!  I would have thought that a small stool or dining chair would have sufficed but these things were fabulous; enormous leather bucket seats with swivel and recline facility, arm and head rests, neck supports.  I’ve never been in a Pan Am cockpit but I can't imagine their pilots are made any more comfortable.

But then I realised their importance.  If you’re going into virtual battle with the Taliban you do need to be as comfortable as possible.  Bugger the mud of the Somme.  If this is to be realistic you need to be couched in living room luxury.  And clearly given the size of them, these weren’t for youngsters.  No, they catered for battle-hardened veterans of the Fortnite Wars, several of whom wandered sulkily through Curry’s weaponry.

How much longer will it be before virtual PTSD becomes a prescribed condition?  At the very least it should be an Olympic sport given the athleticism required.

Too late for me, of course.  But if it happens I think I’ll get my conkers out.

Though I’m too old for gaming

Of this there is no doublt

If this this is classed Olympic sport

I’ll get my conkers out.