Santa's not coming this year

He's sick of all the ‘tech’

Nobody wants the good ol’ stuff

It's all gone a bit Star Trek!

 

Xbox, PlayStation, IPhone,

Fit bit, airpods, Meta!

Will it ever end?

It definitely won't get any better!

 

It may be a feast for the eyes 

But, don't eat those mince pies!

It's a feast for your slumbering belly!

In front of your gaming telly!

 

OK monitor. Whatever it's called!

Back in my day, your ass would be hauled 

‘Get out on your bike. Go fly your kite!’

‘But, it's 10ft of snow?’ ‘Go on! Just go!

 

‘...While I make the dinner.

Your poor Dad’s getting thinner & thinner!’

‘Fat chance!,’ I would retort

Dad would put it in Santa's report

 

‘Hmm, I'll have to take your bike away.’

Then, suddenly, I'd go out & play!

Trying to peddle in so much snow

Wasn't easy, but I gave it a go!

 

Now, they live in a virtual world 

Where digital, code filled snowballs are hurled!

Tapping away ‘til their fingers are sore

Trying to better their mate's highest score!

 

Santa's baubles have been blown away!

In a Grand Theft Auto kinda way!

They've stole his sleigh & pimped it up

Now there's nowhere to put his mulled wine cup! 

 

I say, fight back! Bring out the games!

TiddlyWinks, top trumps. There lies no shame!

Go Kerplunk! Play connect 4!

You'll enjoy it. Santa once told me so!

(honest)

 

Sink my battleship! Catch a mouse in a trap!

(Although, after a couple of games, that was pretty crap)

Frustration was frustrating. But, Operation was the best!

And after playing all these games, it was time for a rest

 

Plug the Atari in the back of the TV

And have a game of tennis, for an hour - or 3…

Hold on! 

Sitting on our arses for hours on end?

Playing board games & electronic tennis with friends? 

 

Is that where it started? Were we just as bad?

This poem's now making me a little too sad!

That's it! I'm going outside to run wild & free!

Saying that - the footy's on after tea….