It snapped my flagpole like a twig
Our John told the news
And a tree fell on the conservatory
Spoiling all our views

A whirlwind, literally, Kerry said
We couldn’t open our front door
The lampposts were all swaying
I’d never seen that before

A tree came right through Maisie’s roof
Pulled down the bathroom ceiling
The Liberal Democrats demand
The PM calls a COBRA meeting

Chief Superintendent Dexter said
Some people have been displaced
We’ve told them not to go back home
If they really want to stay safe

When the warm air hits the cold air fast
It explodes just like a volcano
Thirty seconds of Gaza
It’s the Stalybridge tornado