Monster in the Mirror
They say that twin flames go through periods of separation
And this I know to be true
For you were right, we did need this time apart
However, I am praying it doesn’t last
I needed to discover me and you needed to discover you
Because even though we are one, our souls have still been split in two
And we needed to work on ourselves separately
In order to reunite anew
They say there is telepathy between hearts
Which explains how I used to feel you despite being so far apart
So I will continue to write you words in the form of art
To store your precious memory in my heart
I hold on to my pain to hold on to you
And pray for happiness in all that you do
For I am at a loss for words
I can no longer feel you the way I did
The thought of what you are going through is making me sick
I burn a candle for you, but the flame is going out
And the dim light brings me great doubt
That you may never return to me
Despite all my love and all my pleas
I tried to infuse the candle with my love
Chanting:
“Magic flame strong and true
Rebuild our love, all renewed”
Yet the flame has gone out, drowned in its wax
And I’ll take that as a solemn fact
That the flame died with your love
From everything I have done
I wasn’t creeping, but I was misleading
My own self, believing that this distraction was healing
The wound in my heart that you have left
And filled with anger from what you had said
The one who reminded me of you
Was the only link to you I could use
To remain close to you in total silence
But it only leads to love defiance
And an act against your heart in violence
I never wanted you to know what I felt
And yet the dirty hands I have dealt
To the one I love, the one I cherish
Which caused all of your love for me to perish
It breaks my heart to know I’ve hurt
The one I love who didn’t deserve
This act of vengeance on my behalf
I would sell my soul to hear you laugh
And know you are healing, happy and free
Even if it will never again be with me
For my love for you reaches the skies
Surpasses Death itself, it will never die
You inspire every word and every rhyme
Everything you read, my heart has written you every line
Sleepless nights and breathless frights
Desperate plights and teary eyes
And the fear that this is our goodbye
The Universe makes me feel less alone
I lie under the stars and wish for them to take me home
Though my soul may be set in perfect darkness
It will rise in perfect light
As I have always loved the stars too fondly
To be fearful of the night
I struggled so much writing this, as I don’t know what to say
There are no words or actions that will take your pain away
You occupy my mind more than my own thoughts do
So tell me how I can ever be me, if I have to live without you?
A million words will not bring you back, I know because I’ve tried
Neither would a million tears, I know because I’ve cried
My words are finished, my eyes have dried
And now I’ll leave you in peace because I know I’ve tried
I’ll always search for you in crowds
In empty fields and soaring clouds
In city lights and passing cars
On winding roads and wishing stars
I wonder where you are right now
I won’t ever speak your name out loud
I wish you would tell me if you cared
If a single thought for me is spared
Tell me when you lie in bed
Do you think of something I once said?
I wish you would bless me with another moment of your presence
For in that moment, I would breathe in your essence
I will never finish falling in love with you
And I’ll miss you, without ever saying a word
I think it breaks the Moon’s heart too
Looking down and seeing me without you
I hide my tears when I see your name
But the pain in my heart is still the same
Although I try to smile and seem carefree
No one in this world misses you more than me
For love is a mere word placed next to what I feel for you
It’s like calling the ocean a puddle
Or the sky a patch of blue
Love implies limits and boundaries to where the heart can go
But what I feel for you flows beyond horizons, places love itself doesn’t know
To question my love for you is to question the very essence of who I am
Like asking the Sun if it ever doubts its light
Or the sea if it ever questions the kiss of the tide
My love for you is as boundless as the sky
And it breaks my heart to think this is goodbye
Despite my efforts, I have tried
But no words or rhymes may ever suffice
To express the depth of love I feel for you in my bones
I pray to God that you know you are never alone
And though I may never be able to fix what I’ve done
It is only you to whom I wish to run
And the pain I feel knowing that you are hurting
Tells me this is an important lesson we are both learning
But none of this expresses the truth of how I feel
So I’ll end this poem with Lord Byron’s words
In a desperate attempt to show you my love is real:
“When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.
The dew of the morning
Sunk chill on my brow—
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame;
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.
They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me—
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well—
Long, long shall I rue thee,
Too deeply to tell.
In secret we met—
In silence I grieve,
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?—
With silence and tears.”
I regret the end
The way we couldn't leave one another without wounds
The way we made it seem as if
All the love we once shared was wasted time
But I am chaos to your thoughts
And you are poisen to my mind.