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Monster in the Mirror

They say that twin flames go through periods of separation

And this I know to be true 

For you were right, we did need this time apart 

However, I am praying it doesn’t last 

I needed to discover me and you needed to discover you 

Because even though we are one, our souls have still been split in two 

And we needed to work on ourselves separately

In order to reunite anew 

They say there is telepathy between hearts 

Which explains how I used to feel you despite being so far apart 

So I will continue to write you words in the form of art 

To store your precious memory in my heart 

I hold on to my pain to hold on to you 

And pray for happiness in all that you do 

For I am at a loss for words 

I can no longer feel you the way I did

The thought of what you are going through is making me sick 

I burn a candle for you, but the flame is going out 

And the dim light brings me great doubt 

That you may never return to me 

Despite all my love and all my pleas 

I tried to infuse the candle with my love 

Chanting:

“Magic flame strong and true 

Rebuild our love, all renewed”

Yet the flame has gone out, drowned in its wax 

And I’ll take that as a solemn fact 

That the flame died with your love 

From everything I have done 

I wasn’t creeping, but I was misleading 

My own self, believing that this distraction was healing 

The wound in my heart that you have left 

And filled with anger from what you had said 

The one who reminded me of you 

Was the only link to you I could use

To remain close to you in total silence 

But it only leads to love defiance 

And an act against your heart in violence 

I never wanted you to know what I felt 

And yet the dirty hands I have dealt 

To the one I love, the one I cherish 

Which caused all of your love for me to perish 

It breaks my heart to know I’ve hurt

The one I love who didn’t deserve 

This act of vengeance on my behalf 

I would sell my soul to hear you laugh 

And know you are healing, happy and free 

Even if it will never again be with me 

For my love for you reaches the skies 

Surpasses Death itself, it will never die 

You inspire every word and every rhyme 

Everything you read, my heart has written you every line 

Sleepless nights and breathless frights 

Desperate plights and teary eyes 

And the fear that this is our goodbye 

The Universe makes me feel less alone 

I lie under the stars and wish for them to take me home 

Though my soul may be set in perfect darkness

It will rise in perfect light 

As I have always loved the stars too fondly 

To be fearful of the night 

I struggled so much writing this, as I don’t know what to say 

There are no words or actions that will take your pain away 

You occupy my mind more than my own thoughts do

So tell me how I can ever be me, if I have to live without you? 

A million words will not bring you back, I know because I’ve tried 

Neither would a million tears, I know because I’ve cried 

My words are finished, my eyes have dried 

And now I’ll leave you in peace because I know I’ve tried 

I’ll always search for you in crowds 

In empty fields and soaring clouds 

In city lights and passing cars 

On winding roads and wishing stars 

I wonder where you are right now 

I won’t ever speak your name out loud 

I wish you would tell me if you cared 

If a single thought for me is spared 

Tell me when you lie in bed 

Do you think of something I once said?

I wish you would bless me with another moment of your presence 

For in that moment, I would breathe in your essence 

I will never finish falling in love with you 

And I’ll miss you, without ever saying a word 

I think it breaks the Moon’s heart too 

Looking down and seeing me without you 

I hide my tears when I see your name 

But the pain in my heart is still the same 

Although I try to smile and seem carefree 

No one in this world misses you more than me 

For love is a mere word placed next to what I feel for you 

It’s like calling the ocean a puddle

Or the sky a patch of blue 

Love implies limits and boundaries to where the heart can go 

But what I feel for you flows beyond horizons, places love itself doesn’t know 

To question my love for you is to question the very essence of who I am 

Like asking the Sun if it ever doubts its light 

Or the sea if it ever questions the kiss of the tide

My love for you is as boundless as the sky 

And it breaks my heart to think this is goodbye 

Despite my efforts, I have tried 

But no words or rhymes may ever suffice 

To express the depth of love I feel for you in my bones 

I pray to God that you know you are never alone 

And though I may never be able to fix what I’ve done 

It is only you to whom I wish to run 

And the pain I feel knowing that you are hurting 

Tells me this is an important lesson we are both learning 

But none of this expresses the truth of how I feel

So I’ll end this poem with Lord Byron’s words

In a desperate attempt to show you my love is real:

 

“When we two parted

In silence and tears,

Half broken-hearted

 To sever for years,

Pale grew thy cheek and cold,

Colder thy kiss;

Truly that hour foretold 

Sorrow to this.

 

The dew of the morning 

   Sunk chill on my brow— 

It felt like the warning

   Of what I feel now.

Thy vows are all broken,

   And light is thy fame;

I hear thy name spoken,

   And share in its shame.

 

They name thee before me, 

   A knell to mine ear;

A shudder comes o'er me—

   Why wert thou so dear?

They know not I knew thee, 

   Who knew thee too well—

Long, long shall I rue thee,

   Too deeply to tell.

 

In secret we met—

   In silence I grieve,

That thy heart could forget,

   Thy spirit deceive.

If I should meet thee

   After long years,

How should I greet thee?—

   With silence and tears.”

 

I regret the end

The way we couldn't leave one another without wounds

The way we made it seem as if 

All the love we once shared was wasted time 

But I am chaos to your thoughts

And you are poisen to my mind. 

🌷(6)

lovelossrhymeheartache

◄ Soulmate Symphonies

Final Farewell ►

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