USED TO BE  

Used to be slim

Used to be trim

Used to get ‘Wouldn’t mind getting with him!’

Used to be star

in the gay bar

Used to get ‘Ooh, how handsome you are’

Used to take mates

Out on some dates

Bar taken now over by straights

Used to be fit

Work out a bit

Used to get ‘Look at the bottom on it!’

Used to be young

Used to be hung

Used to climb up top of the rung

Used to get pulled

Used to get called

names which now I feel appalled

Used to dance beat

sat in their seat

Older gay men calling us ‘meat’

We were just toys

Over the noise

West End Girls, Pet Shop Boys  

Used to be twink

Used to half think

They just saw me, bit of young mink 

Used to wear two

White Jimmy Choo

Tight cotton fit, camouflage poo

Used to wear double

over my bubble

Men and their shit, nothing but trouble

Back of Top Shop

Used to quick swap

Poo on my Choo, chew on my chop

Never thought bad

Used to be glad

Attention I had

Scantily clad

Used to shave hair

Head and elsewhere

All over smooth, me I like bear

Used to be slim

Used to be trim

Used to get ‘Wouldn’t mind getting in him!’

Yeah I was svelte

Yet always felt  

Not a kind hand, cards I’d been dealt

Used to let men

Over again

Make me feel I, one out of ten

Yeah I got pulled

Names I got called

From under a rock I had just crawled

Used to eyes lock

Jock after jock

In it for love, course they were not

Used to think of

All the above

Never thought I worthy of love

Used to get pissed

Touched up and kissed

More than a shag not on his list   

Used to regret

Odd guy I met

More than just fun in the toilet

Pushed them away

Used to I’d say

‘Only for play, end of the day’

Used to think charm

was there in my palm

Shooting his drugs

up through his arm

Used to act dumb

Uncomfortably numb

Seeing him shoot drugs up his bum

Used to think norm

Come early morn

Me still asleep, other guy gone

 

Used to buy clothes

Top Man I goes

Then I saw size, that’s when I froze

Triple XL

Got on the scale

Thought bloody hell, size of a whale

Then I gym hard

Used to swim hard

Six times a week membership card

Used to think ‘shit!’

Putting on a bit

How much fat in this one chip?

Used to count cals

Went off the rails

Down in the deep, dietary hells

Used to obsess

Never undress

Don’t ever serve me Eton mess

Used to watch weight

Got in a state

Two lettuce leaves, dinner on plate

 

Used to be slim

Used to be trim

Used to get ‘Wouldn’t mind getting on him!’

Knocking on wood

Used to look good

But never loved me, way that I should

Boy, I’ve come far

since the gay bar

Don’t need a man to know who you are

Used to pull men

Over again

But this is me now, that was me then

Used to ride tubes

Cruising for dudes

Now all they see, belly and boobs

 

Now not as fit

Getting on a bit

Now I get ‘Look at the belly on it’

Now not as slim

Now not as trim

Now I get ‘Better get back in the gym’

Now not so young

Now I’m half hung

with these man boobs bigger than Mum 

So I’m not svelte

But happiest felt

Give me more cheese please on my melt

 

Me and old bro

meant to stay low

Meant to stay hid never on show

We were once young

Now getting stung

Muscle Marys, malicious with tongue

Dare if we did

Open the lid

Muscle Marys, want us all rid

Think men our age

should get off the stage

Muscle Marys, back in your cage!

 

Used to be slim

Used to be trim

Used to get ‘Wouldn’t mind getting up him!’

Used to be twink

Here’s what I think

LOOK IN THE MIRROR, MUSCLE MARY IN PINK!