STAIRLIFT TO HEAVEN
(A re-post from when I wrote this about old people. These days it could be me)
There’s a lady out there
And she can’t climb the stairs
At her bedtime which is
Half past seven;
She was lured was Aunt Hannah
By the junkmail from Stanner
Into buying their Stairlift
To Heaven.
But she found it so slow
When she needed to go -
Half an hour on the Stairlift
To Heaven;
So from ground to first floor
She just found it a bore
Like a rainy weekend on
Lochleven.
(But she's lumbered with
The Stairlift to Heaven).
So for her own special treat
She’s adapted the seat;
Now she rides up and down
Till eleven;
She sits on her mobile phone
Which is set to vibro-tone
So she no longer needs
Uncle Kevin.
(No she no longer needs
Uncle Kevin).
Oooohhh! And it makes me wonder!
“Oooohhh!” She moans like thunder!
Now this ending will shock you
‘Cos in partnership with Nokia
She’s provided them both with
A rare gift;
A joint marketing banner
Used by Nokia and Stanner,
“Get the ride of your life
On our Stairlift”.
John Coopey
Sat 30th Mar 2024 08:45
Thankyou, Stephen. And, in the words of the Master Lyricist Benny Hill “Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control have already been born?”