Where has it brought me

To the point of hatred towards my own kin

Less in thought and more of it on me

Why do I hate my mother 

She’s taken my youth and discouraged my future 

Left to take hold of her addictions 

Copying what I know I don’t want 

So why do I carry on 

Doing things that I know resemble her

Cursed by a course of action

Product of a design 

Disgusted with every moment 

Placing myself in the line that I never wanted to walk

Running from the problem

Speaking in circles 

Spinning in my mind of torture 

Bar after bar, smoking the pack until I can’t breathe 

Hating every second, every hour

I sit on a bench alone

Pushing the things closest to me further

Dreams become a thing of the past

My father resents me thinks I should be better

Do better

Why can’t I just be better

Fix the problem and move along

I want a family I want that flame

To burn bright too intensely to explain 

But it may not be for me

To learn from this all and become the plague 

Changing the current 

Pushing away like waves 

Hesitant in my affairs i become afraid

This isn’t me

Not the person I want to be

So why do I continue 

A lineage of disease 

Please god oh god please

Change me 

Feel my passion push me free

I need the help I can’t do this by myself

I could go on and on

For years or so

Carrying on with this track 

Spinning on and off with lack of empathy

Leaking entropy