I’m No Stranger
And so it begins
Slowly pushing myself down
Into the darkness of a self dug hole
Allowing all of the bad
The negative
The shitty things to give me the strength to dig
I’m no stranger to the pain
My childhood trauma and everything after can attest
The stories I could tell
The looks I would inevitably get
The judgements, perhaps
I’m no stranger to solitude
Self made or forced upon me
Even surrounded by people
I may as well be on my own
I’m no stranger to sleepless nights
Crying on the bathroom floor while my partner is none the wiser
Staying in the shower for much longer than I need to
Simply to allow myself to be overtaken by the thoughts
The overwhelming feelings
The feelings I’m so used to pushing down
The feelings I once again find myself trying to ignore
It’s so exhausting waking up in the morning
Only to feel the way I do
I’m not even sure how to put it into words
How to express it, to change it
I’m no stranger to self inflicted pain
Though it’s been some time, the thoughts still remain
I’m no stranger to so much
And yet I somehow feel like one in my own skin
Unaware of who I am, why I’m here
What kind of life is filled with such despair
How is it living if all you want to do is give up