Soft and fluffy 

Ball of fur 

Curled up tight

Contented purr 

His favourite place 

Right on her lap

But Hey what's this?

A DATING APP!

Am I not the one

Who gives her Love?

Now all of a sudden 

It isn't enough 

Her eyes are glowing 

As she scrolls

The screen 

All these faces 

I've never seen 

I don't see men

Just a bunch of mice 

If they come round 'ere

I'll scratch out their eyes

I can hear her calling 

Her best mate Trish

Can't stop talking 

About plenty of fish

That used to mean

She was fixing my supper 

 Now all she wants

Is a human lover

Here he is

Knock at the door 

Hang on a sec

While I sharpen 

My claws 

With whiskers twitching 

I start to growl

Next thing I know 

He swans around 

In a towel 

He can't be making

This his home 

I'm being ignored 

I'm left alone 

So I wrap my tail 

Around her leg

Still she'd rather be

With Him instead 

These days she sits

Upon his lap

It's all too much

I'm gonna snap

So I grab a pair 

Of his favourite pants 

I'll put stop

to this sickening romance 

In Sunday's undies 

Just a few fleas

And the next day

A couple of bees

Snug in my corner

Smuggly I watch

As he's stung

On his bum

And itching 

His crotch

Mr plenty o fish 

Was thrown back 

To the sea

Now every fins

Purrfect

For my cat mom

And me