when do you make a decision
for you?
when do you strive to make
yourself happy?

ive been asking myself so many questions.
ive been trying to come up with some 
kind of understanding.

im still so confused,
hurt,
betrayed.
but still trying.

i am proud to say ive been consistent.
ive been focused,
ive been happy.

but, could i be happier?

or

should i keep my mind in the now?
in the moment of peace and self awareness.

in the haven of my own being,
because i know my energy protects me.

this decision shouldnt be hard,
but for some reason

it 
      still

                  is

                            to

                                       me.