Scratch at the night,
the irritation of darkness has you at its mercy.
Scratch At the night,
the visions are advancing down mirrored corridors.
The rash of the Sun will return
to flake its hours upon your open wounds.
The rash of the Sun will climb high
to pour your memories back into you...
Audio and Video attached at link below
https://wolfgarwords.com/2024/06/21/scratch/
The repetition works well with the brevity and somehow works to communicate recurrence. And, the final line cinches it up beautifully--it's really a gratifyingly constructed image painted in those few words.
I also want to mention that certain words and phrases evoke a sense of distorted perception for me which I found very slightly distressing, probably due to my own experiences with chronic insomnia.
..nighttime isn't necessarily a time of rest...
Thanks for posting, David 🌷
Thanks for the early likes folks.
David.
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David RL Moore
Sun 23rd Jun 2024 09:22
Thanks for the comment Landi and for the additional likes.
Occasionally I see things in my scribbles which must emanate from my subconsious.
On reflection I pondered why I used the words "flake, wounds and pour" because they do have a leaning to suggest some kind of religious communion, ie..the breaking of bread, represented in flake like discs, the blood of Christ, poured...and the reference to open wounds.
All these terms although purpously placed in the text seem to suggest a cleansing.
Read in to that what you like, but it was revealed to me only upon reading not whilst creating the verse.
David