How could I choose 

against something good?

When I didn't even know if I would 

Find something better on the other side

Or something equal to abide 

And don't let me say 'I did it for her'

I'd sound so goddamn pompous

But I struggle to see

How I did it for me

When this outcome is so hopeless 

 

Yes, we were good together 

But that ain't the same as forever 

I could've kept it as we were 

Or tried to make it as they were

They, the married 

The engaged

The moved-in-together

They, the not-necessarily-ideal

But seemingly content 

Forward-moving people 

That have somehow accepted the prospect of being with someone for the rest of their lives 

Them

I wish I could be them

Perhaps then

I wouldn't choose against someone good 

Leaving her to wonder if she could 

Have done something better 

She couldn't have 

She was great 

That's not the problem 

And don't let me say 'I'm the problem'

I'd sound so goddamn pitiful 

But I struggle to see 

How it could be 

That I ruined something beautiful 

 

Perhaps, we can admit

That goodness isn't always it

Something else needs to be there

Like a commitment to bear

Or, forgoing that

A naivety to share

But without either of those 

What are we to do?

Just be grateful for the goodness 

Regardless of the who?

But that can't work

At least not for me 

I'm not a grateful creature 

I need more to be

I can't hold onto goodness 

Just because it's good

Like I can't start a fire

Just because there's wood