JAKE THE SNAKE

 

Northbound overground

Southbound underground

Say you’re straight but play around

in London’s gay playground

You go to pub, the Fox and Hound

Get in the drinks, it’s your round

Til orders last, bell sound

Then bus it home, northbound

 

Your sorrows how they got drowned

Shots you had, pints downed

Tonight you’re not the one crowned

in striptease, final round

Your mate Jake, the Trouser Snake

left the judges spellbound

His mighty rake is Earth renowned

for length, depth, girth, mound

 

Thought that he may have frowned

Wind him up, up wound,

when say to Jake, ‘Get your snake

to Bounds Green, Greens Bound’

Condom pack in cupboard found

Tied to bed. Gagged, bound

All night you take Jake the Snake

Get your worth of pink pound!

Get your worth of pink pound!