I'm lying on my couch, well out of the sun,
and glad if it. Where's the truth, let alone fun,
in baking yourself? You'd have to hold a gun

to my head to get me back out there today
because, so i swear, there is no other way
you'll manage it, no matter what you might say

or do, no matter how much you threaten me,
coax or cajole. No chance! I would rather be
cold than hot, any old day. I'd sooner see

blizzards in July, lightning and lashing rain
than be made to suffer through that heat again.
I'm mammalian, with a functioning brain,

I've a full life to lead, things i want to do.
Hell's teeth, you can stay out there if you need to,
and feel your damned wits dissolve, like rendered glue,

but no, not i. I'll read my book as i lie
at my leisure, and occasionally scry
up through my window, and watch the reptiles fry.
 

MP 29724