i'm always the girl youre not sure about.
people have tried to make me
the girl you come back for.
but i want to be the girl
you never left.

and there are gaps in my happiness.
gaps in my teeth.
gaps in between breaths.
air, just...
slipping away.
fading away 
like colors on clothes
that have spent too much time
in the sun.

and what a funny way to say
theres always light in my life.
how it makes everything visible;
but
less vibrant.
less appealing.
less new.

and yet we flock to used things.
coffee cups with stained rings
on tables.
they dont make them like they used to.

legs are built different.
style over sturdiness.
their feet like knuckles dragging across floors,
dragging motivation.
dragging living.
wanting so badly to 
be out of the dark.

but we forget what the light does.
how it makes even the brightest things fade.
how it burns wings,
singed feathers just
hanging in the air.
hanging like fog.
like heavy smoke.
like having
'i love you' stuck in your throat.

and then you blink.
and the next moment is here.
and the days are just
a series of moments.
and we keep flipping the hourglass 
only to drown in our own sand.
buried.
and safe from burns.

and sometimes
we trade one for the other.
playing hopscotch
in shadows
because we cant make up our minds.