Having a Bad day.

 

Today is not a good day inside my crazy head.

I spent the night tossing and turning in my unmade bed.

My legs and back are reminding me how old i really am.

I have got pain everywhere today, including in my bony hands.

I am irritable and impatient to the core.

As I trip over the clothes that last night I left on the floor.

My head is full of anger and rage, I feel ready to explode.

What am I angry about I don't really know.

I won't open the curtains to have a look outside.

I have so much fear inside I just want to run away and hide.

Everything negative is running through my head.

Ever growing compulsions of wanting to be dead.

I am thinking of things I would not normally think.

I try to wash away my problems with another bottle of drink.

People I am angry with I am now getting the urge to kill.

Even though I know this urge I would never fulfil.

I have tried to watch the telly to take my mind off my negative thoughts.

That just depressed me even more, in the vicious circle I have been caught.

I have many nights and days just like this before.

The only thing I'm certain of is I will have many more.

Still got 12 hours to go before the day comes to an end.

More than likely when tomorrow comes it will be the same again.

 

Nataiella (2024).