I don't have the vocabulary to describe it
because there are no words in any language
that would do it justice

"hopefully we have a very long time before that happens"

it hit me.
im very likely going to spend the last half of my life 
on the outside of what i want,
looking in at what i deserve.
wondering if that will be me next.
will you be in someone elses eyes?
and how that person will know
exactly how i feel right now.
and what a beautiful thing to share,
both of us, wishing we could trade places.