Know you

Any benefits to this bewildering, barbed stumble through this dark forest into which you have brought me?

Confusing cutting beautiful song after song, always sounds the distance

                                                                                                 In a tiny flickering glimpse of thickening light

Leading me through the aftermath

I follow and follow the wild clear riddling sign pointing this way to love

But I am certain now it keeps moving & tricking me & getting farther or changing direction even

 

A Siren on a foam covered jagged ocean rock out to crash my sinking vessel

                             Why? What has my poor worn boat ever done to you

                                           Simply trying to find my way home

 

Abandon Truth all ye who dare to come near the mountainous sparkly rock

Who stands tall for nothing and paints gates the breakers wash away in lustful inconsistency

Jagged rocks need harp players perhaps, sirens call outlaws with crime for company & switchblades

Not me at all

 

Never would I have begun this perilous journey of nightmares if not the farce; the lark; the shard of sparking glass used to cut a vein for the drop of bright blood makes a good rhyme for a song shyster to hawk his were-wares

A step for Cyrano to dirty and discard

A thought - beautiful on paper or on a note, might not unfog a misty looking-glass

You may take back all the pennies uncountable, shiny or dull

You may proclaim loudly a noble idea

And then break your oaths; and even Shakespeares’

 

You still love writing songs

Although the earthquake does not hold steady nor can waves consistently speak for mere mortals, they refuse

They maintain the inconsistent crashing, but you, you have no tales to tell me

I am allowed back on the pier,

Even if you are not

 

Fair is, actually, not fair at all and never is, 

                                         So stop saying that

 

Gracefully I must pilot a path through this avalanche of shame; did vanity dream all?

Tell me, when your eyes close, do you ever see my eyes? And do they shine then? With no fireworks, no music?

When people you love ask you who the song is for, do you ever tell the truth?

Truth is a lantern, oh thee I once thought of as my friend

 

To tease ecstasy from your inkwell, your voice and your body

I’d force you to go deep, correct my perspective, while I adjusted yours, you’d learn perhaps against your will

Steal all my best champagne you want, you think I care about that one drop

You sparked such joy in me; keys to doors, flash floods, deep blues, plenty

Said you were real and I believed

I thought I met my heart

 

The change, this is the part of the story, somehow pages got ripped out, I missed the bloody details

You not adhering or standing by youthful dreams or truth, not holding to nothin you say

How does the beauty walk away from the dark animalistic stranger in the woods? 

Or does he meet her later? In his dark castle?

Now I’ll never know

 

It is not that I want to hurt love with poetry:

It’s that I want the poetry to hurt the love, 

                     So it’s shaken up 

                                      and comes clean

 

Damn you promised deliciousness and delivered dirt

You flee from these lands without me

 

Even without

With no future

No dreams upon dotted lines

Even mistaken

After staying open to the world, being lucky in all my wasted time

 

I am joyous how much I love; the capacity

How I’ll keep looking for that

A moment’s happenstance that before has taken years and years and years

 

There is a beautiful rock on dry land with my name carved on it,

It will make such a splendid roof, safe and hidden from mystery, puzzles, elements

My rock, my roof, I turn my boat over to rest, near the sea, and eventually I’ll repair that damage

                      Safe and wonderful, I’ll live there, never look up

I’ll plant my own garden

                  Build a little corner with a fireplace and books for writing, curl up

                                                     I’ll be warm, and safe, and dry

Heal

         and he won’t hurt me no more, just like he said