Paul, my mate like to mock
John, my Dad, Scottish ‘Jock’
Sat at home, doorbell knock,
Open door, ‘JOCK THE COCK!’

Out with dog, ‘JOCK THE COCK!’
Dog and bone, ‘JOCK THE COCK!’
Down the phone, ‘JOCK THE COCK!’
Slam it down, ‘JOCK THE COCK!’

Where’s his brain? Out of stock
But lock the door, he’d pick the lock
Round the clock, ‘JOCK THE COCK!’
‘JOCK THE COCK!’, ‘JOCK THE COCK!’

Said he’s straight, was he fock! 
‘DON’T LIKE DICK’. Poppycock!
Taking mick. Taken Mick
Brother Michael cock the jock!

Getting on, on my wick! 
Stuck my nob in proper thick 
in his gob, proper job 
Good and proper gobbed the lot!  

Out his gob full of nob
came a sound, dribble slob
Throbbing Gristle, gristle throb 
meets acid punk meets acid rock 
‘JOCK THE COCK! ‘JOCK THE COCK!’
‘JOCK THE COCK!’, ‘JOCK THE COCK!’ 

Proper sick, proper quick
Get my fist, fix the prob
‘Northern Soul, Southern Hole
Fisty here to do the job’

Starting out, finger sock 
still he shout, ‘JOCK THE COCK!’
Then proper fist, proper shock
proper fast run out the block!