BLIND DATE 

By The Urban Poet

I’m late, I’m late

For a very important date

I don’t mind you see

If it’s a blind date or three

‘Cos I prefer not to know

What she looks like and so

I just turn up, give her a sultry look

and then hope for the best

(You can imagine the rest)

 

Now in my minds eye

She’s a looker, that’s why

I always prefer

to buy flowers for her 

But I’ve had too many shocks

Like a girl with Botox

In every nook and cranny

Even around her...

(no not going for the rhyme on that)

 

They’ve turned up in shorts

In the freezing cold, told me they’re young

When really they’re old

enough to be my aunt

Others just sit there and flamin’ rant

drink me dry, then ask me why

I bothered to ask em out

When I’ve not got the clout I said I had

 

My profile indicated that I was a bad,

mean handsome rocker,

when in actual fact I’m an old unbold

geriatric shocker

 

Ah well you can’t win ‘em all

I can always go down the snooker hall

‘Cos being no fool, I could steal a cue

and make a living out of playing pool

It worked for Rod Stewart with Maggie May

he’s got a toy girl and eight kids

and lies on the beach all day

 

So stuff it that I’m late for my important date

Let her stand in the queue and flaming wait!

From ‘Rhymes and Reasons’

By ‘Rick Varden 2023