Hair in the wind
Brown in the sun
Midday-born light—
Silken strands of crested corn.
Jack was nimble
he was quick
but he's not taking that candlestick.
All the queen's horses
and all the queen's men
run their own courses,
then run them again.
Sparks light the sky
a brilliant welder's flash
a jewel in disguise
a jouster's winning prize;
and yet, a clockwork dandelion
sings softly to forgotten stars.
Sat 12th Apr 2025 08:10
Good morning Red Brick Keshner,
I love your "Song to the Stars" which is a wonderful blend of playful nostalgia and deeper reflection. I particularly love how you take the familiar rhyme “Jack be nimble, Jack be quick” and give it your own twist, alongside the reference to Humpty Dumpty. The vibrant imagery, like “midday-born light” and “silken strands of crested corn,” beautifully captures the fleeting nature of life and childhood.
The “clockwork dandelion” and “forgotten stars” add a reflective depth to the poem, suggesting the fragility of life and the dreams we may lose along the way. Your poem encourages me to reflect on the beauty of fleeting moments and the things we may overlook as time passes.
Kind regards,
Rolph
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Red Brick Keshner
Sat 12th Apr 2025 11:38
Good day Rolph David! This review is a wonderful work of reflective exposition. I am truly privileged and honoured. But it touches me so much I am spurred on to read this poem through another’s eyes and find adjacent meaning in my mind’s own iteration. Thank you so much 🙏🏻🕊🌷🌷🌷