I had Back Entry Beatrice in Barnsley

She said I had to pay her bus fare home

I gave the driver 30 pence in coppers

He kicked her off at Barnsley Metrodome.

 

I had the Granny Gobbler too in Grimethorpe

She's proud to offer pensioners relief

She told me that “I'll charge thee just a fiver

Or a tenner if tha wants me baart mi teeth”.

 

She's a Barnsley Honky Tonk Woman

You'd spot her by her Barnsley Shag-Me shoes

A Barnsley Honky Tonk Woman

Doing her bit to relieve the Barnsley Blues.

 

I had Bus Shelter Sharon then in Shafton

It only cost me half her normal price

That's because her daughters couldn't join us

So as a BOGOF deal she let me do it twice.

 

And also Lundwood's Lillian the Legless

It cost me 20 Capstans and 2 gins

I helped her out her wheelchair oh so noble

Then hung her on the railings by the bins.

 

She's a Barnsley Honky Tonk Woman

You'd spot her by her Barnsley Shag-Me shoes

She's a Barnsley Honky Tonk Woman

Doing her bit to relieve the Barnsley Blues.