the incubus

by Ann Foxglove

Saturday 7th August 2010 5:36 pm

Gritty dry-eyed morning comes

Glimmering around dead curtain edges.

Grey murky shroud of repetition

Forms another day.

The incubus of loneliness perches

At the foot of the bed.

I catch its glittering eye.

Soon, he’ll make a grab for my toes.

Nervously I tuck them in.

I know that next

I’ll feel his feet

Slithering up my legs

Like slippery eels grasping.

He is inexorable.

Scrabbling up my body, he sits

Quite at home

Upon my breast.

Heavier and heavier he gets

Til he is heavier than the world

Heavier than the universe.

My breath passes out of me

And ashes fill my throat.

For it is morning.

painting "The Nightmare" by Fuseli

Comments

Isobel

Mon 9th Aug 2010 09:29

Sorry I didn't make myself clear enough. With that one word extracted it wouldn't convey what you wanted. It would have to go hand in hand with more imagery and language that supported the idea of an invasion of loneliness.
Probably a daft idea - the poem works well enough as it is and I always prefer to know what a poem is about than to grapple about in the dark and come up with the wrong meaning...

Ann Foxglove

Mon 9th Aug 2010 06:38

Thanks for the comments. I read it out to myself without the word "loneliness" Isobel, but I didn't feel the implication of loneliness was obvious enough. Without that word the poem could be read as a fear of sex.

Ann Foxglove

Sun 8th Aug 2010 21:45

Actually me next planned one was goin to be called "Iron Lung". Anyone??

<Deleted User> (7212)

Sun 8th Aug 2010 21:40

a great poem but Very sad - can you write a cheery one next ? or I'll email you some Tommy Cooper jokes - it's hard to be sad when you're laughing. XX

Isobel

Sun 8th Aug 2010 10:17

I think it is great that you inspired Graham to write a poem Ann. I read this second and expected it to be of a very sexual nature. It was interesting to see just how different it was to Grahams. I like the different take on it. Incubus here is loneliness - invading your body and consciousness with all the force that a lover might. I found it very sad - I guess ashes might refer to the kind of loneliness that comes only with bereavement. There is much to admire in the poem. I like the 'gritty dry-eyed morning' line - a great opener.
I think it might have been a good idea not to mention the word loneliness and to express it otherwise - the invasion of emptiness if you like...
I enjoyed this cos it made me think and was a very different take on a subject matter. xx

Graham Sherwood

Sat 7th Aug 2010 22:47

In fact it's got me already thinking of Succubus, perhaps I shouldn't though.

Graham Sherwood

Sat 7th Aug 2010 22:46

I really like this piece Ann. The last three lines are really snap the whole piece shut, like waking up. It's interesting that you have balanced the sexual nature of the incubus with the loneliness analogy.

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the incubus

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