Just a poem about having no social skills...at all!

 

You say that humans are ‘social beings’

And expect us to just accept that it's true

Well I can prove in a minute and a half that its not

So Aristotle mate, this ones for you

 

For me causing awkwardness is a god given gift

Causing uncomfortable silences since 1992

As people would stop my mum just to say

My God your little boy’s just so cute

 

And some of us just aren’t born with a filter

For the weird crap that runs through your head

So we’ve blurted it and people are backing away

Before we’ve quite realised what we’ve said

 

Making first impressions is just another gift

And once made they take a life time loose

So saying “Can you feel the rain, its like properly wet"

Probably isn’t the smartest of moves

 

And interviews are just the stuff of nightmares

Not a situation that I’d willingly pick

To the people you’re trying to impress

Not gonna lie, I might actually be sick

 

Being able to think what we actually look like

Is a skill that we long to possess

So we don’t end up belting ‘The Time Warp’ in ASDA

Or doing Saturday night in M &S

 

So when you start making these statements

About these social skills we’ve supposedly got

Whilst i’ll admit some people have them

Know that some of us simply do not