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Estrangement

The barren whitewashed walls won't talk

in the absence of graffiti;

no scripture scrawled in paint or chalk,

no importunate entreaty

 

saying meet me at the Nail Bar

on Saturday at half past two,

we'll promenade the boulevard

like the gentlefolk all do.

 

I'd write messages on buses

with my fingers in the dust

or the carts collecting rubbish

but those services are cut,

 

all the advertising hoardings

are dismantled from their space:

how can lovers go out courting

without a premise to deface?

 

I grieve our loss of common ground

and the death of collective art.

Conceptual sex lies out of bounds

now that you're a techno tart

 

whose fingers tap and touch in text

and a tongue I can't decipher;

yet to perpetuate affect

I'll become a Second Lifer.

◄ Holes

Witchfinder ►

Comments

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Ray Miller

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 20:12

Yes, you're probably right, Cynthia. Thank you steve. Courting is still fairly common in these parts, usually coupled with disaster.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 23rd Oct 2010 16:24

Interestingly, I copied 'consensual sex' into my comment, then realized it was 'conceptual'and made the change. I think you did use the right word because it raises ideas beyond mere 'mutual agreement for intercourse'.

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Ray Miller

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 23:47

Thanks all, you're very kind.I really like the 3rd verse, though I say it myself.It's topical.I'm not sure about conceptual sex, actually. Originally, I had consensual sex, but I got told off so I changed it.Now I wonder what's wrong with consensual sex. I've probably not worded that too well. Lager and wine to blame.

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Tomás Ó Cárthaigh

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 22:45

I love the rhyme, flow and story of the poem. Truly, technology is more and more coming in the way of real talking: communication is becoming less and less face to face...

<Deleted User> (7164)

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 14:06

I'm no techno tart! :-)

Loving this poem Ray. Gentle rhythm has great effect. It's so smooth! Those last two stanzas are super and there are some great lines and imagery too.x

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 10:44

I like the juxtaposition of 'communal art' and 'ether isolation'. 'No conceptual sex' is great, and ironically, maybe a good thing. The rhythm does trip along with some plummy words and their interesting rhyme relations. A very good read, deceptively relaxing.

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Laura Taylor

Fri 22nd Oct 2010 10:15

Love this ray :) from the opening two lines, through to the 'techno tart/fingers tap and touch in text' - lush. Although have to confess I did have to google what a Second Lifer was!

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