The Hare
Last month's poem of the month writer,Gaia Holmes, has chosen this month's poem. Gaia says,"I've chosen 'The Hare' as I love the sharpness and precision of the language. I love the clear, strong imagery and the way the words effectively evoke a chill. " Find out more about Christine and her work at http://www.writeoutloud.net/poets/christinebousfield THE HARE I’m an arctic ghost, now figure, now ground, a shiver on the white horizon; a fierce and cunning mother, I bear bone-aching cold, a tenth of my life each gestation; teach my young by secret visits to found their form snug as skin: each tastes my elixir for five minutes before I freeze again with the sun. Yes, I am white as the foot of the Virgin, eyes set on heaven, my children, melancholy, drink my songs in darkness. But I have two faces, two dances to wrong-foot the gods. I scurry, a shadow, carrying wild grasses to those they would see die.
<Deleted User> (5228)
Sun 20th Jul 2008 15:20
Brilliant imagery, except for last line of 2nd stanza: "a tenth of my life each gestation" is not poetic. It's too technical and betrays the flow of the poem. A little wordsmithing could fashion the same idea into a more poetice flow.
The poem could also be strengthened by removing unnecessary words. Tighten it up a little.