Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

ghazal - under grass

entry picture

 

The lane winds on, it’s overgrown with grass

Too dark for daisies, ivy crawls through grass

 

The rusty swing stands creaking like a ghost

The rabbit hutch sits empty in the grass

 

The gate hangs off its hinges, hesitates

Mildew adorns glass panes, like slimey grass

 

Children don’t come now, keeping a secret

Sweets are no longer hidden in the grass

 

The hall is dark and hollow as a tomb

Cascades of junk mail pile up like cut grass

 

Plastic flowers gather dust by windows

No one comes here since he last cut the grass

 

I pass by, guilty, look the other way

We all do, now he’s safely under grass

 

 

Ghazal

◄ a little journey

kiss haiku ►

Comments

Philipos

Mon 17th Jan 2011 21:50

I agree with the other commentators - liked the eeriness and rusty swing too x

<Deleted User> (7212)

Sun 16th Jan 2011 08:09

a great story, sparely told & evocative as ever: just enough & not too much. Marvellous.

Profile image

Ann Foxglove

Sat 15th Jan 2011 19:20

Poem was inspired by a garden I passed this morning, when I was on the bus. It was the rusty swing that did it!

Profile image

Dave Bradley

Sat 15th Jan 2011 19:18

Atmospheric. I enjoyed this, Ann. For some reason it reminded me of the Radley place in 'To Kill a Mockingbird'.

Profile image

Ann Foxglove

Sat 15th Jan 2011 18:13

Done as instructed oh ghazal master! x

Profile image

winston plowes

Sat 15th Jan 2011 18:08

Your ghazals have enough elements to be ghazals in their own right, I don't think you should give them the (slightly dispirited) "Nearly tag". Win

I liked this. Had the effect of stopping the music which I think is what you were going for, Win x

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message