Abstract Notions

Thursday 24th March 2011 9:06 am (first posted Wednesday 23rd March 2011 9:58 pm)

There is an itch in these veins.

Blood once flowed to seek fairer lands.

Existence was not enough to tame us.

At edges of cliff tops, towards riverbeds we yearned,

reaching out towards Lincoln green pastures.

Were once we painted with primary colours.

Barefooted, engulfing dissected oxygen,

We mix strife and strain with acid rain.

No freedom in mindscapes, abstract notions falling.

Thoughts no longer worth a penny,

the ever-present hum of injustice pours,

onto less green, less fairer lands.

note: this is a bit depressing for me...but I cant help it haha... no excuses

◄ Driftwood faces

Sympathy cough ►

Comments

<Deleted User> (7789)

Tue 29th Mar 2011 12:51

Some lovely lyrical lines here.

Andy N

Fri 25th Mar 2011 08:15

good title with the title hunting rach, hardest thing of a poem for me usually getting the right title..

enjoyed it otherwise.. good stuff x

Rachael Dunn

Wed 23rd Mar 2011 22:32

Thanks Francine,
I was a but iffy about the title, will play with it, until it sits right :)

Francine

Wed 23rd Mar 2011 22:20

I really like the feeling and images this evokes, even though the last half is a bit of a downer. I personally would give it another title though...
'Abstract Notions'

Like the lines:
'Existence was not enough to tame us'
'We mix strife and strain with acid rain'

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