Mickey is a geezer with suitcases galore

With the kind of stuff you find inside your nans utility draw

Like a pair of garden shears that ain’t been used in years

A slightly rusty door handle and cotton buds for your ears

 

He flogs them down the market to tourists and the like

He’s Mickey to his mates but to the fuzz he’s known as Mike

The corner is his office where he yells out all day long

‘70’s mix tapes 5 for a tenner now get them before they’re gone!’

 

He always plans a getaway and never pays his tax

He’s selling knock off Nike t-shirts, he’s got them at home in stacks

If one product ain’t shifting, he can always nick some more

‘cause that guy Mickey is a little bit tricky and can open every door

 

He’s got a tongue to cut the butter and the manner of a gent

With a rip off sheepskin jacket that was 20 quid well spent

Flicks his fag by a petrol tanker and doesn’t seem to care

As he sells a dodgy kitchen appliance to a posh bloke fair and square

 

The posh bloke goes back to his mansion and plugs the appliance in

And from big sparks of electricity a fire will begin

And consume the wooden furniture that was carefully polished and sanded

Mickey’s made a rich man homeless and he did it single handed

 

He’s stinking of cheap whiskey with big holes in his socks

Selling black tracksuits, doc martin boots and polka dotty frocks

Some perfume from the continent, and books that have no spine

That cheeky sod Mickey is a little bit tricky and a clever little swine

 

He can grab the keys, wallet and watch off of almost anyone

He gambles with a penny, and leaves with half a tonne

He’s loving in his nature and oh so full of charm

You’d never think while playing he had a full deck up his arm

 

So he can con the constantly cocky, and rob the righteous rich

And get blood pressure pumping until they all reach fever pitch

He drinks just like a sailor, he smokes just like a trooper

And at the end of the day he drives away in his run down mini cooper

 

So next time you’re down the market and fancy a dodgy find

And if you like a bit of bartering Mickey doesn’t seem to mind

He’s a got a kettle that never boils and a budgie that can’t fly

That geezer Mickey is a little bit tricky and he’s gone in the blink of an eye