You've finally made into a mediocre indie group

but your struggling to keep in the popular cycle loop

the second single clings on to mtv2

so your manager suggests the last option to do

"lads listen, it's time to come clean

it's tough to make it big with your music business dream

albums sales aren't going well

and it's starting to get hard to tell

if you'll be on this lo-fi label much longer

i've had time to sit and ponder

over this recent offer i've received

me and the big bosses have all agreed

that's it time to keep it "real"

and boost your teenage appeal

So pack your wits and off you go

to a television pop panel show!'

 

At first you think it's cool

but totally unawares are you

that in a matter of moments you'll be played by a fool

and your best option might as well be to join the dole queue

you sit next to the latest comedy star

they stare you down with a judgemental glare

whilst ironically stating that you'll get far

and that you two would make a good pair

whilst the witty presenter injects and says

a pair to suit a child's nightmares

you laugh but you don't understand their comedic ways

Sure some answers you say are correct

and Phill Jupitus agrees with you on the identity parade

but your dignity is bare and you just can't protect

because your careers death bed has just been made

 

But it's written in the scrolls 

and the prophecy was right

indie kids never prosper

you name will be added to the list of indie posters

who's names are carved onto NME headstones 

Sarah Craknell never cracked it

and Norman Blake couldn't take the pressure

5ive couldn't keep on moving

and Steps felt a deeper shade of blue

incidentally Lee Ryan appeared on the show more times than a few

just don't tell the grandkids he did better than you