My bum it did look big in that

he could have bloody lied

I know an inch or two's appeared

But God knows that I've tried

Pigeon, mouse and rabbit food

Yes muesli by the ton

I can't pretend, it's got to end

Eating used to be fun

If I'm not good enough for him

He'll get what he deserves

To hell with all this diet stuff

Cos real women have curves!