Tears Haiku
I hang up the phone.
Dialling tone resumes.
Tears through the plastic.
Comments
<Deleted User> (5646)
Sun 27th Jul 2008 19:53
Hi Jordan. May i make a suggestion?
Drop "again" from the second line and "the" from the last.
Personally, i feel the imagery becomes more profound and wider scale.
Quite a modern uptake on haiku.
Love Janet.x
Hi Jordan, must have a look at this Haiku, don't know anything about it - looks like you don't have to write much, but what you do is very meaningful, nice one Jeff
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Alan Summers
Mon 25th Aug 2008 21:42
Good to see a haiku here! ;-)
I like the Japanese horror film aspect of this! ;-)
all my best,
Alan
http://www.withwords.org.uk