Well. Here goes. The first blog post. "Can you hear me at the back?" Now's probably the moment where I'm supposed to say something profound and memorable to initiate what I'm sure will be a wonderful relationship between me and the Worldwide Web. But sadly, I left my profound and memorable hat on the topmost shelf in my bedroom which unfortunately I cannot reach. Such a shame. It has feathers on it and everything!

So instead, the genesis of this blog will be in the shape of a Letter-Poem to the CEO of the anti-bacterial company Dettol, formerly known as 'Dettox'.

 

DEAR MR DETTOL. FACT.

 

Dear Mr Dettol,

I write to congratulate

You on your company’s achievements

In cleanliness, of late.

 

In the bitter war with bacteria,

You have reached quite a feat.

A success rate in anti-bacterials

With which no other can compete.

 

I’ve been a loyal customer

Since before the ‘Dettox’ days.

But 99.9% -

Frankly – I’m amazed!

 

I’ve always supported you -

You’re the best, that’s bona fide.

But when you changed your name to ‘Dettol’,

If I’m honest – I cried.

 

Your magical, enchanted fluid

Is ambrosia distilled.

You’ve performed an awesome duty,

Saving babies from being killed.

 

Thanks to you, I hate my chopping board

For its bacterial deceit,

Instead I now chop vegetables

On top of my loo seat.

 

Finally, I offer my assistance

In helping you to hone

Your product, through the push

To reach the final milestone.

 

To show my gratitude and

Effort in your attempt,

I have enclosed a cheque to help you

Reach 100%.

 

To make your goods infallible,

This is all that it’s lacked.

Just ‘up your game’ and you will gain

An invincible product. Fact.

 

 

Adam Woolley