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Inevitable [a sonnet]

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I stand before the Sun — she waits for me
with splendid orchid sighs upon the breeze.
I bow before the Moon — she cries to me
with orchestrated whys and mysteries.
Inevitable emblems of our tryst
are haunting my perception of the path
which stretches out before the lips I kissed
in vague galactic visions’ aftermath.
So then the Sun and Moon before my eyes
did blend their molten rays around your face;
I felt my inhibitions vaporise
but did not want to box you in a space.
  I have no expectations, so I said;
  (a lie) while portions of my cheeks turned red.
 

◄ Facets of Friendship, Part 1: "Friends Lite"

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Comments

<Deleted User> (6315)

Tue 26th Jul 2011 22:59

Yes lends itself to singing does this form (to my ears anyways)

Very lovely words which I enjoyed.

Can portions of cheeks go red?.. :D

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Dave Carr

Wed 20th Jul 2011 20:08

Alan,
I too like form poetry and enjoyed this.
I like vague galactic visions' aftermath.
Dave

<Deleted User> (8943)

Wed 20th Jul 2011 15:19

Such a lovely piece, flows well, mesmerizing and romantic with enough ambiguity to keep the reader guessing...

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Alan Morrison

Wed 20th Jul 2011 09:33

John, thank you. I love form too. Especially the sonnet. To me, it is perfection. No room to be trendy in a sonnet! :-)

The word "did" just came naturally. Honest! It's the old way of talking tensewise. I'm old-fashioned that way. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from writing thees and thous! :-D

Thanks again for the comment!

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John Coopey

Wed 20th Jul 2011 09:23

Excellent Alan.
I'm drawn towards "form" and this is very good.
I particularly like the way it can be read seemingly without any heavy rhythm, but with that persistent iambic heartbeat underneath.
(Not terribly keen on the word "did" in the 10th line - it feels like a bit of a spacer to make the syllable count up (I think I'm being picky!).
Very enjoyable.

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