If being obtuse was an art form it would be called poetry
Merci Francine and thanks Banks (I think!).
I'm currently being cursed by the editor in me who is insisting I should continue revising and adding, and going completely against the central thrust of the poem by adding more alliterative puns!
e.g.
"...by the literary equivalent of an illustrative and alliterative, arty faxed simile,
simply to show we can follow the metaphorical semaphore of poetry’s ‘Who’s who’s’, don’ts and do's."
Interested whether others would others add or leave be?
Moi aussi... je suis d'accord avec Anthony !
<Deleted User> (7212)
Tue 16th Aug 2011 20:30
I was going to say...
"Fu***ing hell mate, you'll never last on here talking like that"
but then I looked back to see some of the great & good approve as well.... so maybe you'll just ignore my smart-arsed remarks & I'll congratulate you on words well-written & ideas very well articulated.B
Thanks Larisa!
Yes! A little more about...we. Very good words!
With best wishes,
Larisa
Thanks Anthony & Steve
@Ray I'm half Jamaican so the whole 3rd line is in Patois (where I often end up when less than happy) dutty=dirty.
The first line was added as I was trying to explain the piece's inspiration for the purpose of the Blog post and when I saw it rhymed I and liked the way it scanned I left it in. I think the conversation issue is perhaps a little picky (especially if you want the line to be succinct) but do agree your suggestion is more succinct and may even consider editing. (and now have!) Cheers
I like the poem, especially I liked
Should I discuss dis cuss, or choose to dash it far from us like some kind of dutty discus in disgust?
"dutty" though?
Also, I'd take issue with the opening line on two counts. It isn't much of a conversation - he's only got one line, though it's a good line!.
And it could be more succinct - A summation of a conversation with a local librarian.
Hi Mark,
I liked the sentiments you express in this - especially:
"It’s about poet expressing a part of who they are."
"Thereby allowing you and me, an opportunity to see, Something that reveals to us a little more about... we."
Well put!
Regards,
A.E.
If you wish to post a comment you must login.
This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.
<Deleted User> (7212)
Thu 18th Aug 2011 22:45
mine was most definitely a compliment & I'd leave well alone (but that's just me). B