Andy N

The End of Summer (II)

Tuesday 13th September 2011 12:32 pm (first posted Friday 9th September 2011 10:49 am)

The End of Summer II

In hindsight,
it wasn’t just the soft,
cold perfume
of the breeze.

Wasn’t just
the change in weather
nor Swallows
which had gone East
instead of south.

Autumn hadn’t
built itself up
as it normally did
but fell unexpected
from the skies
choking summer
until it fizzled away.

Autumn burst through
without reason
like a hurricane
instead of an
more intimate moment
on the other side
of an conversation,

and blew out the candles
like the 4th of July
on a dream ticket

to nowhere.

summer

◄ The End of Summer (I)

The End of Summer III ►

Comments

Andy N

Thu 6th Oct 2011 09:05

thanks to all who commented here on this piece also... Out of the four, it's probably my personal favourite but looking back at them now, i am dead pleased how they came out.. A

winston plowes

Sun 2nd Oct 2011 21:51

Hi Again, this one built Andy. got better and better as it went on finishing on a dream ticket for nowhere. Excellent. Great pics to accompany both (1) and (11) too. Win

John F Keane

Wed 14th Sep 2011 20:25

He shut his eyes. June dawns, July noons, August evenings over, finished, done, and gone forever with only the sense of it all left here in his head. Now, a whole autumn, a white winter, a cool and greening spring to figure sums and totals of summer past. And if he should forget, the dandelion wine stood in the cellar, numbered huge for each and every day. He would go there often, stare straight into the sun until he could stare no more, then close his eyes and consider the burned spots, the fleeting scars left dancing on his warm eyelids; arranging, rearranging each fire and reflection until the pattern was clear....

So thinking, he slept.

And, sleeping, put an end to Summer, 1928.

John F Keane

Wed 14th Sep 2011 20:10

I like this one a lot. It reads as well as it sounded on Monday night.

Jennie B

Wed 14th Sep 2011 12:24

I like the line "Autumn burst through without reason". You can almost taste the season's chill.

Looking forward to seeing the other 2/3 poems in the sequence x

Isobel

Tue 13th Sep 2011 13:31

I don't remember the original enough to spot the differences Andy - but you don't appear to have made it any worse so that's a plus! I would just change the two an s to a s int the penultimate verse. I think they are typos but they just distract a little. x

Andy N

Tue 13th Sep 2011 13:01

Glad you like this, Isobel... one of my favourites must admit and there is certainly other pieces to come in this sequence (Currently aiming for 4 or 5).. x

Isobel

Mon 12th Sep 2011 20:21

I can well imagine this being one of a series. The poem reads like the beginning of a story - a setting of the scene. I suppose the 'In hindsight' of the first line leads us to expect more. Very atmospheric Andy! xx

Andy N

Sun 11th Sep 2011 21:57

cheers everybody for the comment, yeah - this is a little series leading into a new project for next year but am dead pleased the way they are going so far.. watch this space for more to come and will be updating Part 1 on this 2moro

Jeff Dawson

Fri 9th Sep 2011 22:59

Great poem Andy and like this mini series you're building up!

Great stanzas about the swallows and the last one but all good mate!

Philipos

Fri 9th Sep 2011 14:47

This has my vote and especially the last stanza. Stunning inset piccy. Enjoyed.

Laura Taylor

Fri 9th Sep 2011 13:14

Great poem Andy - that photo is rather lush too.

My fave lines:

Autumn hadn’t
built itself up
as it normally did
but fell unexpected
from the skies
choking summer
until it fizzled away.

Can really feel it, nice one :)