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I’m leaning to learn on the welfare estate;
my buddies have crutches, we congregate
to spray on authentic public space.
The sweepers arrive before sleepers awake
and scrape off another layer of paint
from every conceptual surface.
Bookcases are hired out to the homeless,
park benches reinvented as sofas.
Heaven’s drifting in and out of focus;
we’re squinting where the roof was at the cosmos
and I’m almost up to my ankles in twilight.
I liked it too, Ray.
It's got that Ray Davies pictorial urban quality about it.
I don't know what I feel about "up to my ankles in twilight".
I lie. I do. I think it's excellent in its own right but doesn't belong in this poem. Maybe you should build a another poem round it (like they could have done with Glen Hoddle!).
Thanks ever so much, Cynthia.This will sound ungrateful, I guess, but I'm not all that fond of this poem! Now the previous one, Leprosy, that's a good poem.I think!But it's all very subjective, this poetry lark.
'up to my ankles in twilight' is one of those genius lines that make reading poetry a sheer joy, and also 'every conceptual surface'. plus -- plus! This is great poetry in concept, imagery, diction and social reverberation. (I'm pretty sure that's the word I want.)
Thanks, Neil. I guess "almost up to my ankles in twilight" is something akin to "not dark yet, but it's getting there."
I'd like the same tolerance and latitude extended to those who don't need it, to be extended to those who do.I'm a socialist.
What I bemoan most is the fracture of communities.At least graffiti is "home-grown", not purchased or downloaded.
I reckon you're right about the last line. I had my doubts beforehand, so it's going.
"up to my ankles in twilight". I like this line, not sure what it means though. I think I know what you're getting at in this well conceived poem, but I'm not sure whether or not you think that it is a good thing that the safety net is being removed. Are you sympathetic?
"every conceptual surface'. Irony? Or a recognition of graffiti as art? This is clearly a very thoughtful poem and there are enough clues in the title and the text without the final line. Good thought provoking stuff.
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Ray Miller
Sat 17th Sep 2011 21:15
Thanks, John. Or like they could have built another welfare estate around John Prescott.
Thanks, Steve. I'll tell you what a socialist isn't. It isn't anybody in New Labour.