JOY OF BEING ALONE

The joy of being alone is an empty joy, one to be celebrated alone because one is alone.                                                                                                                                                                                                                       You don’t celebrate the joy of being alone with a friend, partner or girlfriend.                                                                                                                                                                                                                      It’s something you do alone. No one can be allowed to see you like that.                                                                                                                                                                                                    There’s no romance in being alone, no loving embrace in the middle of the night, no nice sentiments of ‘I miss you’, no quick kiss in Tesco’s while out shopping and not giving a damn who sees you. Being alone is just that; having no one.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                If you want to go on holiday, you go alone and pay the single person supplement.                                                                                                                                                                                                             Can’t have the holiday company losing money just because you’re single and all alone.                                                                                                                                                                                                             Birthdays and Xmas are the worst times, no one to buy you a card saying ‘Love you on it’ and signing it with their promises of love forever. What an absolute lie.                                                                                                                                                                                                          Don’t feel bad about being single. Take up drinking; it’ll take the edge off it. I know from experience. It’s ok to build walls around yourself; you’ll be protected from other people’s snide comments and from anyone who wants to pry into your life.

Don’t let anyone get close to you, they’ll only hurt and use you. Leaving you depressed and on the edge of suicide with waves of anxiety and depression coming to claim you. Buy a dog, they’re much better company than a moaning woman who hates your friends and doesn’t like you having a life and interests and views and thoughts. If you need sex, frequent single clubs and spin some one liners to get your way. Failing that, fuck a hooker. Or join a swinging club with an open-minded gal who wants no strings fun. Don’t fall for the lie that is love and the commercial crime that’s romance. Put yourself first and don’t get ensnared with a bitch. Learn to love yourself and don’t be down cos you’re alone. Crack open the vodka and watch a war film.