£10 POEM

Things got too far after I had 2 cans at home and three pints in various pubs.                                                           

Five pints in the pub made me merry.                                                                                                               

So when a dickhead in a light blue denim shirt opened the door of our car I was like what the hell?                                                                                                                                                           

Posh dressed chav boy sez I ripped his shirt.                                                                                                    

He was pouring beer over me as we danced and I retaliated by grabbing his beer and doing the same to him.                                                                                                                                                

As the music wound down did I really rip his shirt open press stud style?                                                      

Who am I to say in my drunken state?                                                                                                                  

He came to the car and demanded cash with his numpty mate.                                                                       

Words of you ripped my pal's shirt and it costs £20.                                                                                                  

There you go a tenna. Angie went to get the doormen but it wasn't necessary.                                                                        

I paid my dues and avoided the threat of a beating.                                                                                                    

I said I’d call the cops if they kicked off.                                                                                                                       

I wonder if I should report a robbery.                                                                                                      

Shame I don't carry my knife, no more numb nuts.                                                                                                               

What joy at Legends next Friday?