Electorate, looking out
was not what he saw.
He saw the Great apathetic.
Waves of passion crest in pubs
never reaching the ballot box,
falling far too short to give voice.
Fickle public,
present a point of view, then:
run and hide from those who could help.
He doesn't care, just as long
as there is enough apathy,
to keep him seated.
this is good
Good piece - political apathy boils my piss.
I would lose the comma at the end of the first line of each stanza; the lines flow well with enjambment and the commas hinder the flow.
It's interesting and I like the final line as it reverses the expectation.
My Best
Chris
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Martin Nelson
Tue 31st Jan 2012 22:22
Thanks for the comments.
Chris, I suspect you are probably correct. Looking at it again I'm not quite sure why I did put commas there...it's certainly not how I'd intended it.