Does anyone hereabouts remember sweet Alice?

Poor dreamer...how she longed to live in a palace.

But - sad to tell - it was her tragic fate

To be held back by her lowly estate.

She vanished without warning one cold afternoon,

Some say that it wasn't a moment too soon;

Her lofty ambitions gave others the vapours

When they much preferred to be in watching "Neighbours".

No sign of sweet Alice was ever discovered,

No trace of her whereabouts ever recovered;

But the servants at night down in Buckingham Palace

Swear blind they've seen someone who looks like sweet Alice..