Pedants…

(with no apologies for grammatical errors)

 

Few and less, less and few

Be careful which you choose to use

Two words that seem to be the same

Are not at all, as I’ll explain

Listen up and pay attention

And so avoid bones of contention

If you’re bothered just a tad

Here’s a lesson to be had.

Let’s suppose that we have shoes

(That’s easy as of course we do)

If you have shoes, of which there’s two

And I have shoes the same as you

Your two shoes are pastel blue

My two are a similar hue

..Oops I’ve introduced red herring

It’s not the colour I’m referring

Please ignore the colour blue

It’s nothing at all to do with few.

Let’s return to our two shoes

(Pay no attention to the blue)

Should you chance to lose a shoe

I will have more shoes than you

And yes of course I’m sure you’ll guess

The word to use is few not less!

Those shoes you see, can be counted

And as yours to one amounted

It’s clear as daylight now to you

That in this case the word is few.

So to surmise, it’s correct to say

That you have fewer shoes today.

Now let’s have a look at less

Its usage and abuse address.

Let’s make another supposition

...  you have a messy disposition

(Which of course I do not

Because I clean up quite a lot)

But for this exercise it is true

You make more mess than I tend to

“How come you made this such a mess”

(This time it’s me who has the less)

I guess this mess could be gigantic

But its assessment is semantic

It size can only be assessed

And not in numbers be expressed

So in this case the word is less

“Yes I made a lot less mess”

To say it’s fewer would be daft

And raise a slightly sarcy laugh

From intellectual   teacher types

Who like to have things spanking right.

Now you know, don’t be fanatical

Or pandafy your new grammatical

Ludwig said that less is more

A contradiction that’s for sure

A man of wisdom I would guess

Would not confuse his few with less.

It’s tricky choosing which to use

And often I forget there’s few

I’m slipping up a lot with less

A real bad habit I’ll confess.

But if you’re getting my intention

Though I’ve strayed from the convention

ie, you’re getting what I mean

...More or less and in-between

Fewer, lesser, less or few

FFS right back at you!