Ashley Young and Ashley Cole

Between them couldn't find the goal

We would love  - but seldom get

Kicks high and wide into the net.

Charlie Mitten of old Man. United

Was their penalty king - superbly sighted,

With a penalty hat-trick against Aston Villa,

He showed how to be a killer-driller!

No 'keeper can ever hope to  leap

And reach the ball - let alone keep

It from it's spot when high and true

Has modern "England" thought this through?

Charlie Mitten, we need you now?

These rubbish kicks you wouldn't allow,

And England wouldn't duck and dodge, son...

Can't you return and tell Roy Hodgson?!!