(A condition you are well advised not to allow Our Gert to suffer)

 

 

You’ll not know what’s going on

She’s been so shy for all night long

A proper lady, she’s so refined;

But very soon she’ll probably decide to throw a wobbly

She gets crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine.

Crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine

I said crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine

There’s no doubt

Beer won’t end the drought and nor will stout

She gets crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine.

 

Her glass is empty – it’s all gone

She needs it filled with Sauvignon

“Make sure the landlord fills it up to the line”

Her hands shake and she’d squint and she gets withdrawal symptoms

She gets crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine.

Crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine

I said crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine

Cos at first she’ll just pout

But then she’ll scream and shout when she’s run out

She gets crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine.

 

I thought she was a classy girl

Fit for princes or an earl

She’s schooled at QEGS and acts just so refined

But woe betide the gentry who lets her pint pot empty

She gets crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine.

Crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine

I said crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine

She’ll swear like a lout

Until she’s not without and dipped her snout

She’ll get crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine.

 

Chardonnay from Bloemfontein

Or New South Wales – it’s all the same

She wouldn’t know where to find the Argentine

She tells the other women “Just fill it till it’s brimming”

She gets crazy, crazy, crazy when Out of Wine.

Crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine

I said crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine

When she’s an old trout

She won’t care about contracting gout

She gets crazy, crazy, crazy when she’s Out of Wine.