I won't do lunch at Marks and Sparks,

take the car on weekend drives

then park and lurk at poxy landmarks.

I say no way to nine to fives,

a mannequin on intercity,

I just say NO to domesticity.

Folding towels and ironing knickers?

Fridays are not known as tidy.

No to washing cars on sunday.

And creating brownies, that's for bakers.

NO.  Away with all that eccentricity,

just say no to domesticity.

Buying bookshelves from Ikea,

Sven and Billy are too disquieting.

Sod that, I'm away for beer

of Scandinavian derivation.

Just say no to regimentation.

Ever wondered why you undertook

a two up two down not life instead,

when sometimes all you do is cook -

homemade hummus on homemade bread.

It's insanity not simplicity,

just say no to domesticity.

 

Against tidy housewives we arise,

you can stick your Kim and Aggie

in the grease my plughole hides.

Say No to goats cheese fritters,

just say no to stuffing mushrooms.

Be a Quitter, not a Knitter,

Drawers not dusters for your heirlooms.

Above all, don't be proud of owning a pinny ...

I just say no to domesticity.