Crunch
Her in reception, he service,
main dealer life
brings solid living.
Long held dream redeemed.
Honeysuckle cottage,
rose bed rich.
Goodbye dismal council flat,
parent pride
drives moving van.
Loving effort, mighty loan
freshly fitted
lovely home.
Credit died and dealer crashed,
tear stain faces
bailiff's knock.
Dismal, dreary council flat.
Parents, disappointment hid,
bring furnishing.
Malpoet
Sat 31st Jan 2009 11:04
Thanks Pete
I usually feel that I have left too many words in and I feel that about this one. It doesn't seem finished to me.
As people are always saying, poets have their own 'voice'. I love your style which I could not see fitting into my terse kind of approach to the few subjects that I treat at all seriously.
Humour seems to require more words. You always manage to bring tenderness, readily understandable human feelings and sometimes strong passions to what would otherwise be mundane. Like shopping or kebabs or whatever. That is a real talent. Apart from your lovely delivery of course.