Spent the 250^th anniversary of Robert Burns’ birth

in a Glasgow hotel

watching TV programmes about

the 250^th anniversary of Robert Burns’ birth

From a record store on Union Street

bought a CD of Burns’ songs

with extra tracks

reissued and expanded to celebrate

the 250^th anniversary of Robert Burns’ birth

Even attended a conference by HMRC

who collect excise duty

Burns collected excise duty

so in a way, attending that conference unintentionally acknowledged

the 250^th anniversary of Robert Burns’ birth

Isn’t it funny?

The best laid plans o’ mice and men, an a’ that

for auld lang syne hae been subject to SNAFU

Och aye the noo

And yet, when ye ha no plan at all

it all gang into place

like obtaining a wee conviction for tax evasion

followed by a wee blind date

followed by a wee dram

followed by a wee scramble in the heather

wi’ a lassie called Heather

Dream on, dram on

wi’ whisky in one hand

Here’s to Burns

Wouldnae mind some carpet burns

Talkin’ o carpet burns

this summer will be

the ninth anniversary

of my carpet burns